Recently I read the Blog “Coping: Self Care for when life challenges you.” By The Sister Rap, WordPress. I laughed thinking ya right… Cope?
It made me pause, take note, analyze and ponder this concept coping. What do I do really?
There’s 2 things when it comes to coping for me: Daily routines are imperative. I created a program to help me get things done. I procrastinate and avoid a lot of things. I call my program Task Blocking. It is an effective way to tackle multiple things and get a lot done in a productive and focused way. It really helps me with my ADD/ADHD and Aspergers. It improves my overall sense of well being and lessons my anxiety and depression.
I have a sensory disorder with Aspergers. Sounds, movement, smells… They all can be like an assault. I startle easily sending my heart into repeated micro heart attacks. At least it feels that way. Crowds in grocery stores, malls, concerts make me feel almost shocky. Disoriented with visual impairment, sweating, nausea. I want to escape the wave of sensations that drain my energy and lower my shield. I can’t take much of it. It’s lame but so overwhelming I avoid shopping at all costs even going without food at times.
Avoidance isn’t the best solution of course. It often creates other bigger problems than missing a few meals. Late bills, missed appointments, few social events. The world grows smaller and your problems bigger.
Another silly thing I do is hyper-focus on one thing or a person. I can work for days on my art without getting housework, etc done. I can also get lost in a relationship and loose myself as my daily routine goes by the wayside in favor of more time with said friend. It’s a recipe for disaster. I’m living through it yet again. Caught up for 2 months with a Boy … Thought he was a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but that went South fast and suddenly I return home to my life and my routine and everything feels better. You can’t stop your routine. It’s imperative. It’s your check and balance. Your credit against a future bad day or prescription to prevent a meltdown. It IS medicine. Take it and do it like your life depends on it.
So what’s in a routine and how do I do it? It starts by doing the same things daily and scheduling them. Make your daily chores list. Make it a priority. Do it daily. Stick to it. Make it habit. Write it down at the start of your day… your list. Then at the end of your day write a list of all you did.
Do many things not just those you want to do. Mix it up. Balance it out. Health- exercise, Emotional, Etc. Make your time count with each chore and document your progress. Set goals. Make a visual board. See where you are going with your daily routine. Micro steps adding up to bigger accomplishments. Focus on the micro and the big O will come… The big OMg I did that…
Yes you can!
Now… There’s the 2nd way I cope- in crisis. Chaos can happen and does. I sometimes avoid things too long and end up in a pit of despair with too many things I need to do and fix. I crash. I crater. I throw my blankets over my head and stay in bed. Sometimes you gotta get help. This was one of those weeks. I ended a bad relationship. Very painful. My mom had heart attack Thanksgiving day. Doing ok but tough. I have the worst chest cold. And finally my beloved dog got off her leash and bolted. Haven’t found her. It’s been 2 days. Rough week. I lost it. Reached out to a crisis line. I need help. I have depression and anxiety that are out of control. I can’t get out my door some days. It’s awful. I called and I’m getting help. Don’t be afraid to call if you need help!